Such a simple thing can make me so happy. This is the color of spring. A forest of flowers are more than enough reason to smile. Luckily, I am able to appreciate the beauty of flowers without interference from internal struggles.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
it ain't so bad
Days crawled by and I found comfort in very little. I was absorbed by the pain. All that once gave me hope and made me smile had been taken from me. Then, astonishingly, one morning the sun was shining again. As a sunbeam warmed my face that morning I miraculously regained my strength.
That day I was able to jump out of bed a new person. My confidence had been restored. I owned the day and finally realized I owned my happiness. I had experienced a great heartache but it was nothing I couldn't overcome. During my short time on this earth I've faced much more difficult obstacles and come out on top. I was not going to let this latest incident bring me down and shadow my many accomplishments.
I was back with a vengeance. Now weeks have passed and I am solid as a rock. Tomorrow I will celebrate ten months of sobriety. I've recently been offered a wonderful contract from my employer. My relationship with my family is at an all-time high. There is much to make me smile. The most amazing lesson learned during those dark days; I can be happy with myself. Now I can recognize when I am not doing all I can to take care of myself. I deserve a wonderful life and I deserve to treat myself like a princess. It is not my responsibility to make the world happy. It is my responsibility to smile every day and keep reaching for the stars.
I deserve to be happy. Luckily, I am happy.
That day I was able to jump out of bed a new person. My confidence had been restored. I owned the day and finally realized I owned my happiness. I had experienced a great heartache but it was nothing I couldn't overcome. During my short time on this earth I've faced much more difficult obstacles and come out on top. I was not going to let this latest incident bring me down and shadow my many accomplishments.
I was back with a vengeance. Now weeks have passed and I am solid as a rock. Tomorrow I will celebrate ten months of sobriety. I've recently been offered a wonderful contract from my employer. My relationship with my family is at an all-time high. There is much to make me smile. The most amazing lesson learned during those dark days; I can be happy with myself. Now I can recognize when I am not doing all I can to take care of myself. I deserve a wonderful life and I deserve to treat myself like a princess. It is not my responsibility to make the world happy. It is my responsibility to smile every day and keep reaching for the stars.
I deserve to be happy. Luckily, I am happy.
Friday, March 14, 2008
I hate life
It has been nine months since my last blog. Life got good and then plummetted straight into the pits of hell. No, I'm not being dramatic. Yes, I will admit that I have been called a drama queen but this is the real deal.
For once in my life I created that silver lining everyone is always referencing. I did it all on my own. I was on the top of my game and ready to tackle to world. Out of the blue my world came tumbling down. I was shocked and horrified. Now that I think of it I should have expected something bad to occur and take away my silver lining. Life hasn't been very nice to me and I was naive to think I deserved any better.
The happiness is gone from my life. I no longer find pleasure in cooking, being around people, reading or anything else. I would work 15 hours a day if possible and seven days a week. When I'm at work at least I'm around people. As soon as I leave the office I'm by myself and left to deal with the intense sadness, despair and hopelessness. My dreams for the future are gone. My best friend is gone. Tears have replaced all that was taken from me.
For once in my life I created that silver lining everyone is always referencing. I did it all on my own. I was on the top of my game and ready to tackle to world. Out of the blue my world came tumbling down. I was shocked and horrified. Now that I think of it I should have expected something bad to occur and take away my silver lining. Life hasn't been very nice to me and I was naive to think I deserved any better.
The happiness is gone from my life. I no longer find pleasure in cooking, being around people, reading or anything else. I would work 15 hours a day if possible and seven days a week. When I'm at work at least I'm around people. As soon as I leave the office I'm by myself and left to deal with the intense sadness, despair and hopelessness. My dreams for the future are gone. My best friend is gone. Tears have replaced all that was taken from me.
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